how to ask out a female cashier

WebOriginally Answered: How do you ask a (girl) cashier out? Another option you may consider is going through her manager. Both scenarios happened to me multiple times and it was always uncomfortable and always put me in an intensely awkward situation. I guess you will soon find out if she answers e.g. There there from Radiohead rings a bell. I definitely advocate making any sort of social overture carefully and without undue pressure, I just dont know that I can agree with the voices advocating for blanket ban. The point to all of that is, it is possible to hit on/ask a retail worker out without being creepy. Still, +1 for your analysis and advice to the OP. Granted, this could mean nothing, but its impossible for me to know whats going on since the only place that I ever see him is in this store. If youre going to do this, the leaving your number AND THEN LEAVING, with the expectation of not returning to that business, is the least awful approach. What would think if one of your employees asked out a customer? Aaaaaand now my friend is no longer a regular at that brunch place. If the cashier does not feel the same way, it is best to respect their wishes and move on. I always wanted to date him and ask him out, but I never got the courage until a few years ago when I found out we were both single. For more information, please see our That way he can take or leave the indirect invitation and doesnt have to feel uncomfortable. If you ask her as you are going through the checkout say "hi, how are you doing?" listen to him, and definitely good to go for a free mean with a guy that's not a creeper!! For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable to engage in small talk with the cashier. Too much overthinking going on here. Oh man! Hello, OP here. Thanks msbadbar, I loved your story, especially about your dad! Established relationships longer than 6 months posts should go to r/relationship_advice It will only make your Therefore, don't ask her when her shift ends, or to meet in the rapey spot at the back of the parking lot, after her shift, when it's all dark and gloomy. And yes, some people take outright rejection very badly. If I thought I was going to get tipped regardless (i.e., they were with a group and split checks, etc.) There's a lot of bickering over culture here: I'm from the Netherlands, female, currently 26 years old. We go out in public with strangers all the time after all. He came and then asked me on a date afterward. Remember where you are sexy flirty behaviour leads to confusion where he isnt sure if he understood, its so out of context. *Actually, I was a lifeguard in another life. She said shes there to work, not to get hit on or asked out. Men and women (and women and women, and men and men) have made simple personal connections this way since the beginning of time. Where I live now, in Central European rural areas that latter point is the predominant norm. This is NOTHING like the experience of attractive (or even unattractive) women I worked with. Ugh. So theyll make a HUGE impact, far more of an impact than the 600 perfectly reasonable men who went through the store that day. If I were single and shopping and met an individual Id like to ask out I would have. I do know that she had been coming in once or twice a week for months before anyone made a move, and I know they had been chatting a lot more than your average employee and customer would chat (to the point that I wonder how he wasnt reprimanded for not doing his work). After we left the store, my dad muttered, well, he seemed to like you ok. (Sidenote: my dad and I never, ever talk about anything remotely related to me dating. But I didnt love YOU. I think the only thing saving me from flirting being a daily occurrence where I was assigned was that our typical customers were older, often married, women. Haha well I plan on it next time I see her working, but idk her work schedule thats the only thing stopping me. should I even consider interviewing somewhere else if Im happy with my job. Hahaha. Ask him how his day is going. Just let them do their jobs. Hey, would you like to grab coffee sometime?). Yeah, I used to teach adults and I was asked out BY A STUDENT. I dont really care how kind you are or subtle about itits still off-putting. WebTalk about what you're going to make with your items. I put the money in her hand, and then she gave change back. And if he doesnt call you actually have to forget the incident ever happened, for real no joke you actually have to. Yes I definitely want to be cool about it and subtle and your story is inspiring! If you naturally pass by there, it may be OK to stop for chit-chat. And for what its worth, having been a barista and worked at Target, there really wasnt any appreciable difference between being asked out and being hit on. Ive seen a lot of this sentiment in this thread (Im biased; Im female) and I just want to say: A lot of women dont find being hit on or asked out by a strange man flattering, especially if the most conversation theyve had with them is either mundane chitchat or about the customers order/purchase. How to reinitiate conversations online with stranger taking long to answer my mail. I know you get tips at chipotle, but thats a bonus thats split by everyone in the restaurant, not the source of your income. It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving hints that she's interested in you. Since you're not asking if you should or not but HOW you should ask her then I'd suggest you to try to ask her something like "Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to have a coffee/drink with me sometimes ?". Pick up something and buy it..from her lane. Hopefully she will respond. She seemed interested, so I just asked "Are you new here? I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. Conversation will help break the ice and show your interest. If only 1% of the population are creeps and you have 200 people come into your store each day, that means that you need to deal with 2 creeps every single day. Women deal with this sort of stuff all the time at work, in public, going about errands, etc. You might get the label 'creep' and you might find that your shopping experience will drop dramatically. Is it too early to have sex? Sadly due to lack of nametag I do not. Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. It is understandable how someone who works for an unreasonable manager or one who routinely sides with the customer could be concerned about what will happen when they turn that customer down. I dont know; its easy enough to say, Im sorry, I have a policy of not dating coworkers/customers. If your work doesnt allow it, thats an even easier out. I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. I suggest you consider Having been on the receiving end, I can tell you I've always found it awkward and uncomfortable when someone has asked me out as opposed to leaving a note for me to choose to respond or not respond privately. I did think your point about women being discouraged from asking men out was really interesting. It feels like a lose-lose situation. My boyfriend has told me many stories about the waitresses who were in love with him when he was single and I just shake my head in amazement. You don't want to be banned for harassing employees who didn't want to date you. So try some small-talk and see where it takes you, but be polite and do not ask for a date up front. I expect it to be more difficult in a big supermarket than in a small shop, but I wouldn't label this behaviour as non respectful. You dont know this person, they dont know you! They are so well matched it was bashert. The key difference was that he had been coming into my bookstore for at least 6 months and chit-chatting with me about stuff, usually books but other things as well, before asking me out. At his job, he has to be polite. I had one regular while I was a barista ask me out in what seemed to be a sincere way, but when I turned him down then showed up every single goddamn day and stared at me for almost a month. So if you cant do that, or you can talk yourself into just enjoying the eye candy, dont do it. If you dont hear from him in a week oh well. Like, just reading the net, its easy to get the impression that a good 80% of men are creepsters. The kind of experience you've had would seem alien to most cultures I've known, except somewhere like Sweden, perhaps? That sounds very reasonable to me. I agree with Alison: its not no no no never never never but one must be exquisitely aware of the context, which means an almost never thing. should I wear my wedding ring to an interview, client demands unlimited time, and more. It is best to be direct and honest when asking someone out. Do you think hed be into that? If he calls, you know what to do. A: After your date, maintain good posture by being respectful and honest with your words as well as your actions. Sorry to hear that it didnt work out (a haunted house would have been a very cool first date!) I mean the problem is that it happens way more often than you think. how do I avoid mom energy with my younger employees? I think theres a power differential between the customer and the employee that youre missing here. So I met this girl who is a cashier at a local store and shes really cute. I was watching the whole scene unfold and he was trying his best to extend his little chat with her by just grasping at whatever topic he could think of in this sheepish, gigglish tone, and her simple responses back to him without breaking a smile, while also ringing out my items. It is a safe bet that they're all just doing their job. I hope you have the common sense to not stalk her, to find out where she lives or what she does in her free time just to find a loophole and ask her there. Each party is still evaluating the other.). Does the order of validations and MAC with clear text matter? I dont what it is about retailperhaps the forced friendliness-but it just seems like everyone thinks were dying for dates and I would get asked out constantly. Anyway. So now that Ive rambled, I just hope the OP really considers this persons demeanor before putting him in a potentially awkward situation. Super cute girl at a gas station I go to a lot. Try going into the store when it's not as busy. How does this answer the OP's question about how to ask a cashier out for a date? Its safer to assume, fairly or not, that they will react poorly and plan accordingly, especially when it could be your job on the linethey could complain about you to the manager or yell at you and even turn out to be a creepy stalker. This is how normal people meet, during the course of a normal day. To be successful in this The way she did it was to grab another waitress and say hey, Id like to give my number to our waiter. By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. I dealt with this just as much in a secretarial position as I did in retail. But, I got hit on so frequently, I would have loved to stop it. We were having a polite conversation about video games, he left the store, and then came back from his car to give me his number in case we wanted to continue the conversation. It sounds like hes just good at being a retail employee. Never accept a cashiers check thats written for more than the amount you asked for. I let them all down gently, the ones who were grossed I told my manager about, and the ones who were polite [key point] were cool with me afterward and there was no awkwardness between us [key point]. You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier . I may or may not have drunk texted him after that and needless to say, we never ended up dating. Didnt Jen have an awkward flirtation with this barista at a coffee shop? Instead of just insisting youre a dude and this is how YOU think, maybe try putting yourself in other peoples shoes? I always hope she'll be stocking shelves or something (so she would be a little more approachable) when I see her but she's either cashier or in back. You typically only hear those kind of stories with hookers and johns (because youre not going to the cops to report a pimp robbing you) but I assume it happens to regular people too. Don't make it awkward. (Not that youre Lisa, OP, just that its a humorous musical way of showing how two folks interpreted the same interaction!). The world is as creepy as its always been, but women have been learning to push back against some of the crap that society heaps on them as a punishment for merely existing and being female. Slightly OT but those ads were my free entertainment when I was unemployed. Im in the camp that thinks its OK to politely ask someone out even if theyre working, but obviously many other differ. Try it if you meet somewhere else. OP: I think most people can tell when there is some genuine interest going on. They have to smile and pretend like everything you say is hilarious and engage in chitchat. Life rule: never hit on someone who is being paid to be nice to you. If you call someone up out of the blue and she never even talked to you she wont know if you are some complete psychopath and will be very concerned that someone is watching her without her being aware of it. Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. Adult education class.
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